From On Patrol #85: Punt Them Into The Flames
February 9th, 2015
I was notorious for making fun of the other shows on WLFM, particularly whoever came after me – I’d get their names wrong, talk about how the program was trash, etc. For those last two years, the show after us was called The Cult; one of the hosts was Margaret Koss, who we had hired at the station and I’d become friends with. So I wrote this bit in which she roasted me at the end of an episode – sort of getting back at me for the years of picking on them. I really liked the idea of always teasing everyone, but not being able to take it when someone teased me. Pretty much everything she says is true: my hair was kind of bleached from being on the swim team, I wore this Patagonia pullover most of the time, and I had these woven shoes I’d gotten in India that everyone was always commenting on – so it was quite easy to write material like that. I remember Margaret really loved the Cocaine Phoenix line, but I think the best is when she says she has more grandparents alive than I have listeners – and that all her grandparents are dead. That’s the ultimate burn.
